8 seconds

Anthony caught this on his iPhone, so the quality isn't great, but this video just makes me laugh every time I see it. Turn the volume WAY UP and you'll understand why at the very end. This kid is something else.

Hint: McDonald's has always had the best commercials, and those of us of a certain age remember the classic Jordan / Bird commercials.

First Flowers

Anna received her first flowers from a boy yesterday. No, they weren't from her daddy. They really were from a boy in her class, tied in a bouquet with an attached note that said, "I love Anna because she is my best friend. From Caleb".

We go to church with Caleb and his family and he is a great kid. Wouldn't it be funny if they end up together 20 years later and they have the story of "We were in Kindergarten together"? We all know people like that.

I thought it was really sweet that he thought of Anna. I feel bad that he didn't give the flowers to his mom, though!
From what we can gather about Anna, she seems to be a decently popular kid in her class. She has the few kids that she runs with (like Caleb), but every time one of us visits her class, we observe that everyone likes her and wants to play with her. Anthony and I will have no idea how to handle it if she is one of the popular kids as she grows up!! Mostly we hope for smart kids with nerdy friends - mostly because I assume they will stay out of trouble and get into a good college.

We'll see how it goes.

Mommy, I'm Tyler Zeller!

What is there to do in February? Well, this year you get to play basketball without a jacket! What in the world? This has been the weirdest winter ever.

We've been watching a lot of Carolina basketball and then teaching the kids how to play. Joshua is pretty good at dribbling, and he especially enjoys being able to say "I blew by you!"

Anna does not like the rules. She doesn't like to dribble all the time, she doesn't like that if you must pass if you stop dribbling, she doesn't like that I am allowed to block her shots. You get the idea. She likes to play by her rules - not at all a surprise considering her personality.

This is the tiny amount of snow we got one day. The kids were rather disappointed. So was Anthony. He keeps saying he wants a big snow. However, by the end of this one snow day we were all a little crazy.

What a difference 10 minutes makes

We haven’t had the best 2 weeks. Joshua had a fever for a few days. It was nothing major, but Anthony and I had to juggle our work schedules a lot, and that is no fun. All parents know what I’m talking about. You feel guilty because you’re annoyed that your kid is sick, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. Kids just get sick.

However, it did come on the heels of some bad news for us… Montreat College announced last week that it is shutting down its Music department and other personnel cuts. Anthony has taught 2 evening classes each semester for probably the past 8 years, which has been great for our income and also for his continued exposure to the academic world. Anthony could be quite an amazing music professor, to be honest. He has great real world experience but he also thinks on a crazy intellectual academic level. I am realizing how tenuous being a professor would be, though! It isn’t a stable job by a long shot!

I must admit my own selfish and idolatrous heart. When he told me the news, I automatically thought about how it affected us. This isn’t our primary income, but the loss isn’t an amount we can just make up by cutting out the babysitters and super-couponing at the grocery store. It does require major adjustments, and we already don’t have too much wiggle room. So all last week I was totally freaked out. I tried and tried to come up with a new budget, and kept coming up empty. I tried and tried to stop worrying, and that didn’t work. I tried and tried to avoid admitting that I have serious issues with money and security, but God didn’t let me escape!

Anthony has been far more concerned for the full-time faculty who lost their jobs. His reaction was different from mine, and I just assumed that is because he doesn’t pay our bills. But after this morning I realized that isn’t the case. I had a 10 minute conversation (an unexpected "divine appointment") with a friend who has recently lost their job and therefore their kids may not be able to go to college, and they are battling some health issues that affect job performance (and subsequently the ability to get a new job and health insurance). I don’t want my friend to have a hard time, and then I realized that’s how Anthony has felt for his colleagues. Relationships make all the difference. Suddenly my friend’s difficulties made our loss look very small, and my silly budget worksheet just doesn’t matter that much.

So, perspective changes. That’s a good thing. But it isn’t my perspective about our income situation that needs to change. God is always about transforming the heart, and this one event made a whole bunch of mess pop out of me and reveal how self-sufficient I want to be and how self-focused I really am. Sure, we have some money issues. Honestly, I have no idea how we’ll pay for braces or other major expenses. But more so, I need to die to myself and be transformed. That sounds so good and noble, but it isn’t so pretty in everyday life! I have to trust God has a greater perspective than I do. No matter how it scares me, following Him is more important than a healthy financial plan.

I promise a picture of the kids or a funny story in the next post – nothing quite so serious!

Our not so distant future

A friend posted this article on boys in church last week, and I found it very interesting, and Anthony and I have been talking about it over the past few days. We aren’t youth ministry experts and don’t know about the current youth philosophies – we’re just regular parents of a boy and a girl and we pray like crazy for them to have saving faith in Jesus. As I said on FaceBook, I agree and disagree with this article, and in no way do I endorse this author.

The most ironic twist of this article is that I agree with more than I expected I would. I have always struggled in the southern church culture where women are in “traditional” roles by default because of the accepted cultural norms. So how is it that I find myself agreeing that the youth church culture can be unfavorable to the average male teenager? Probably because I see there is much consideration to be made for ALL when it comes to proclaiming the grace of Christ. And as much as I want women to be encouraged in the church, I also very much affirm that men who love and understand the gospel are critical to the church.

The author makes a lot of sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, but I’m not sure that he’s way off base. He’s describing the “average” boy from an “average” home in middle America, and I appreciate that most of his comments are directed for a nominal church goer. It does seem that in the middle America church culture where I live that those regular kids can get easily overlooked. His comments are more about how to make sure youth group is a fun and inviting place for anyone, not just kids who are already into religious learning. Again, I’m not an expert in youth ministry, but it does make sense that you want it to be inviting and fun as well as challenging for kids from all over the spiritual map. (Current buzzword is "missional", right?)Hopefully our kids will be excited to invite their "average" school friends to youth group. I also heartily agree with his call for more men to be involved in youth ministry and that boys should have good teaching on all subjects (not just sex) – high school is about hormones, but also about identity and who you choose to follow, right? At least that’s what I can remember from those years.

Anthony has told me numerous times that guys do not love to sit around and talk about their feelings and prayer requests like women do. So of course there should be other avenues to building male community in youth group – doing silly stuff, building a Habitat house, etc. As a music director, Anthony is also very aware of the need to help men to enjoy singing and he therefore avoids the “Jesus is my boyfriend” love songs that are weird for guys. So again, I don’t think the author is off base to point out how lots of youth group singing can be weird for “average” guys who may or may not believe in Jesus at age 15.

All of that said, I have some major DISAGREEMENTS with the article. Yes, he stereotypes. No, he doesn't give boys enough credit as human beings. But my biggest problem is that he seems to be reducing God to a formula. Of course there are certain ways to consider the audience that should be acted on – however, he seems to leave out the reality that God calls people to Himself no matter the situation. God works in the hearts of people no matter their age, status, nationality, gender, or youth group style and that work of redemption will always be a miracle. I’m also troubled that apparently only guys who come to faith later in life have a great heart understanding of the gospel. Again, I just don’t think God is limited like that. The “good boys and girls” who have never broken the rules are also great sinners in need of a Savior. They have to be saved from thinking their good behavior earns them points with God. Anthony and I pray for Anna and Joshua to follow Jesus with a vibrant faith for all their days – and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later for them.

Although I don’t know much about Trinity’s youth group, I imagine it addresses some of these issues really well, and some not so much. That is the nature of all ministry. As history will attest, the church as a whole isn’t going anywhere, so I’m not at all worried. I’m just giving my own commentary, and opinions are always open to change.