A friend posted this article on boys in church last week, and I found it very interesting, and Anthony and I have been talking about it over the past few days. We aren’t youth ministry experts and don’t know about the current youth philosophies – we’re just regular parents of a boy and a girl and we pray like crazy for them to have saving faith in Jesus. As I said on FaceBook, I agree and disagree with this article, and in no way do I endorse this author.
The most ironic twist of this article is that I agree with more than I expected I would. I have always struggled in the southern church culture where women are in “traditional” roles by default because of the accepted cultural norms. So how is it that I find myself agreeing that the youth church culture can be unfavorable to the average male teenager? Probably because I see there is much consideration to be made for ALL when it comes to proclaiming the grace of Christ. And as much as I want women to be encouraged in the church, I also very much affirm that men who love and understand the gospel are critical to the church.
The author makes a lot of sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, but I’m not sure that he’s way off base. He’s describing the “average” boy from an “average” home in middle America, and I appreciate that most of his comments are directed for a nominal church goer. It does seem that in the middle America church culture where I live that those regular kids can get easily overlooked. His comments are more about how to make sure youth group is a fun and inviting place for anyone, not just kids who are already into religious learning. Again, I’m not an expert in youth ministry, but it does make sense that you want it to be inviting and fun as well as challenging for kids from all over the spiritual map. (Current buzzword is "missional", right?)Hopefully our kids will be excited to invite their "average" school friends to youth group. I also heartily agree with his call for more men to be involved in youth ministry and that boys should have good teaching on all subjects (not just sex) – high school is about hormones, but also about identity and who you choose to follow, right? At least that’s what I can remember from those years.
Anthony has told me numerous times that guys do not love to sit around and talk about their feelings and prayer requests like women do. So of course there should be other avenues to building male community in youth group – doing silly stuff, building a Habitat house, etc. As a music director, Anthony is also very aware of the need to help men to enjoy singing and he therefore avoids the “Jesus is my boyfriend” love songs that are weird for guys. So again, I don’t think the author is off base to point out how lots of youth group singing can be weird for “average” guys who may or may not believe in Jesus at age 15.
All of that said, I have some major DISAGREEMENTS with the article. Yes, he stereotypes. No, he doesn't give boys enough credit as human beings. But my biggest problem is that he seems to be reducing God to a formula. Of course there are certain ways to consider the audience that should be acted on – however, he seems to leave out the reality that God calls people to Himself no matter the situation. God works in the hearts of people no matter their age, status, nationality, gender, or youth group style and that work of redemption will always be a miracle. I’m also troubled that apparently only guys who come to faith later in life have a great heart understanding of the gospel. Again, I just don’t think God is limited like that. The “good boys and girls” who have never broken the rules are also great sinners in need of a Savior. They have to be saved from thinking their good behavior earns them points with God. Anthony and I pray for Anna and Joshua to follow Jesus with a vibrant faith for all their days – and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later for them.
Although I don’t know much about Trinity’s youth group, I imagine it addresses some of these issues really well, and some not so much. That is the nature of all ministry. As history will attest, the church as a whole isn’t going anywhere, so I’m not at all worried. I’m just giving my own commentary, and opinions are always open to change.
The most ironic twist of this article is that I agree with more than I expected I would. I have always struggled in the southern church culture where women are in “traditional” roles by default because of the accepted cultural norms. So how is it that I find myself agreeing that the youth church culture can be unfavorable to the average male teenager? Probably because I see there is much consideration to be made for ALL when it comes to proclaiming the grace of Christ. And as much as I want women to be encouraged in the church, I also very much affirm that men who love and understand the gospel are critical to the church.
The author makes a lot of sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, but I’m not sure that he’s way off base. He’s describing the “average” boy from an “average” home in middle America, and I appreciate that most of his comments are directed for a nominal church goer. It does seem that in the middle America church culture where I live that those regular kids can get easily overlooked. His comments are more about how to make sure youth group is a fun and inviting place for anyone, not just kids who are already into religious learning. Again, I’m not an expert in youth ministry, but it does make sense that you want it to be inviting and fun as well as challenging for kids from all over the spiritual map. (Current buzzword is "missional", right?)Hopefully our kids will be excited to invite their "average" school friends to youth group. I also heartily agree with his call for more men to be involved in youth ministry and that boys should have good teaching on all subjects (not just sex) – high school is about hormones, but also about identity and who you choose to follow, right? At least that’s what I can remember from those years.
Anthony has told me numerous times that guys do not love to sit around and talk about their feelings and prayer requests like women do. So of course there should be other avenues to building male community in youth group – doing silly stuff, building a Habitat house, etc. As a music director, Anthony is also very aware of the need to help men to enjoy singing and he therefore avoids the “Jesus is my boyfriend” love songs that are weird for guys. So again, I don’t think the author is off base to point out how lots of youth group singing can be weird for “average” guys who may or may not believe in Jesus at age 15.
All of that said, I have some major DISAGREEMENTS with the article. Yes, he stereotypes. No, he doesn't give boys enough credit as human beings. But my biggest problem is that he seems to be reducing God to a formula. Of course there are certain ways to consider the audience that should be acted on – however, he seems to leave out the reality that God calls people to Himself no matter the situation. God works in the hearts of people no matter their age, status, nationality, gender, or youth group style and that work of redemption will always be a miracle. I’m also troubled that apparently only guys who come to faith later in life have a great heart understanding of the gospel. Again, I just don’t think God is limited like that. The “good boys and girls” who have never broken the rules are also great sinners in need of a Savior. They have to be saved from thinking their good behavior earns them points with God. Anthony and I pray for Anna and Joshua to follow Jesus with a vibrant faith for all their days – and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later for them.
Although I don’t know much about Trinity’s youth group, I imagine it addresses some of these issues really well, and some not so much. That is the nature of all ministry. As history will attest, the church as a whole isn’t going anywhere, so I’m not at all worried. I’m just giving my own commentary, and opinions are always open to change.
1 comments:
You know I heartily endorse the HABITAT trips no matter what the gender! ha! :)
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