Beware the Madness of March

It's here. The 3 weeks of basketball madness that much of the sports world loves. Much of the non-sports world does too, as many offices have pools for their brackets. Like every year, there's a weirdness to it all.

1. The Buckinghams moved to MO, so I picked Mizzou to go to the Final Four.
2. Duke lost in the first round. Wahoo!! In case you don't know, UNC fans always cheer against Duke and vice versa.
3. UNC Asheville came so close to beating #1 Syracuse. SO CLOSE
4. NC State is in the sweet 16 - what in the world??
5. UNC has been playing great, but...

6. Kendall Marshall has a fractured wrist. Translation = UNC is done in the tournament. For them to have a chance, they need everyone healthy, but he's the one player that can't be replaced. A fractured wrist. Wow, I'm sad for the team.

Truly... beware the madness of March!

Buncombe County Star!

We're new to all the awards that kids get. I realize they get lots of them these days. Anna got her first special one today - she was chosen by a local radio station as their STAR student of the week. From what I can gather, this is a county wide thing, not just her school, so that does give it a little more weight.

Here is what Anna's wonderful teacher (we've loved her all year, not just because of this) said to nominate her...

"Anna is not only always well­ behaved and making good choices, but even when othersare not doing the right thing she always sets a good example. Anna is always kind to others. She helps others as needed and is always a kind friend. She is caring and considerate and very aware of others feelings. She always has a positive attitude and tries her best when doing her work. She is helpful not only to other students but to her teachers as well and we know we can count on her to do special tasks for us. In addition to her kindness and compassion, she excels academically as well! Anna is absolutely a star in our class and should be recognized as a Star kid!!"

It is one thing for us to think Anna is a good kid and tell her so. It is another thing for her teachers to write something like this! And I must say, we really want Anna to be a good student academically, but even more we want her to love people. We talk a lot about being kind and being a good friend, and it is a great feeling to know that she must be doing this (based on her teacher's comments plus what we've observed in her).

Anthony and I are very aware that this is all of God's mercy - we certainly aren't great models of anything!

Bust my buttons!

8 seconds

Anthony caught this on his iPhone, so the quality isn't great, but this video just makes me laugh every time I see it. Turn the volume WAY UP and you'll understand why at the very end. This kid is something else.

Hint: McDonald's has always had the best commercials, and those of us of a certain age remember the classic Jordan / Bird commercials.

First Flowers

Anna received her first flowers from a boy yesterday. No, they weren't from her daddy. They really were from a boy in her class, tied in a bouquet with an attached note that said, "I love Anna because she is my best friend. From Caleb".

We go to church with Caleb and his family and he is a great kid. Wouldn't it be funny if they end up together 20 years later and they have the story of "We were in Kindergarten together"? We all know people like that.

I thought it was really sweet that he thought of Anna. I feel bad that he didn't give the flowers to his mom, though!
From what we can gather about Anna, she seems to be a decently popular kid in her class. She has the few kids that she runs with (like Caleb), but every time one of us visits her class, we observe that everyone likes her and wants to play with her. Anthony and I will have no idea how to handle it if she is one of the popular kids as she grows up!! Mostly we hope for smart kids with nerdy friends - mostly because I assume they will stay out of trouble and get into a good college.

We'll see how it goes.

Mommy, I'm Tyler Zeller!

What is there to do in February? Well, this year you get to play basketball without a jacket! What in the world? This has been the weirdest winter ever.

We've been watching a lot of Carolina basketball and then teaching the kids how to play. Joshua is pretty good at dribbling, and he especially enjoys being able to say "I blew by you!"

Anna does not like the rules. She doesn't like to dribble all the time, she doesn't like that if you must pass if you stop dribbling, she doesn't like that I am allowed to block her shots. You get the idea. She likes to play by her rules - not at all a surprise considering her personality.

This is the tiny amount of snow we got one day. The kids were rather disappointed. So was Anthony. He keeps saying he wants a big snow. However, by the end of this one snow day we were all a little crazy.

What a difference 10 minutes makes

We haven’t had the best 2 weeks. Joshua had a fever for a few days. It was nothing major, but Anthony and I had to juggle our work schedules a lot, and that is no fun. All parents know what I’m talking about. You feel guilty because you’re annoyed that your kid is sick, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. Kids just get sick.

However, it did come on the heels of some bad news for us… Montreat College announced last week that it is shutting down its Music department and other personnel cuts. Anthony has taught 2 evening classes each semester for probably the past 8 years, which has been great for our income and also for his continued exposure to the academic world. Anthony could be quite an amazing music professor, to be honest. He has great real world experience but he also thinks on a crazy intellectual academic level. I am realizing how tenuous being a professor would be, though! It isn’t a stable job by a long shot!

I must admit my own selfish and idolatrous heart. When he told me the news, I automatically thought about how it affected us. This isn’t our primary income, but the loss isn’t an amount we can just make up by cutting out the babysitters and super-couponing at the grocery store. It does require major adjustments, and we already don’t have too much wiggle room. So all last week I was totally freaked out. I tried and tried to come up with a new budget, and kept coming up empty. I tried and tried to stop worrying, and that didn’t work. I tried and tried to avoid admitting that I have serious issues with money and security, but God didn’t let me escape!

Anthony has been far more concerned for the full-time faculty who lost their jobs. His reaction was different from mine, and I just assumed that is because he doesn’t pay our bills. But after this morning I realized that isn’t the case. I had a 10 minute conversation (an unexpected "divine appointment") with a friend who has recently lost their job and therefore their kids may not be able to go to college, and they are battling some health issues that affect job performance (and subsequently the ability to get a new job and health insurance). I don’t want my friend to have a hard time, and then I realized that’s how Anthony has felt for his colleagues. Relationships make all the difference. Suddenly my friend’s difficulties made our loss look very small, and my silly budget worksheet just doesn’t matter that much.

So, perspective changes. That’s a good thing. But it isn’t my perspective about our income situation that needs to change. God is always about transforming the heart, and this one event made a whole bunch of mess pop out of me and reveal how self-sufficient I want to be and how self-focused I really am. Sure, we have some money issues. Honestly, I have no idea how we’ll pay for braces or other major expenses. But more so, I need to die to myself and be transformed. That sounds so good and noble, but it isn’t so pretty in everyday life! I have to trust God has a greater perspective than I do. No matter how it scares me, following Him is more important than a healthy financial plan.

I promise a picture of the kids or a funny story in the next post – nothing quite so serious!

Our not so distant future

A friend posted this article on boys in church last week, and I found it very interesting, and Anthony and I have been talking about it over the past few days. We aren’t youth ministry experts and don’t know about the current youth philosophies – we’re just regular parents of a boy and a girl and we pray like crazy for them to have saving faith in Jesus. As I said on FaceBook, I agree and disagree with this article, and in no way do I endorse this author.

The most ironic twist of this article is that I agree with more than I expected I would. I have always struggled in the southern church culture where women are in “traditional” roles by default because of the accepted cultural norms. So how is it that I find myself agreeing that the youth church culture can be unfavorable to the average male teenager? Probably because I see there is much consideration to be made for ALL when it comes to proclaiming the grace of Christ. And as much as I want women to be encouraged in the church, I also very much affirm that men who love and understand the gospel are critical to the church.

The author makes a lot of sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, but I’m not sure that he’s way off base. He’s describing the “average” boy from an “average” home in middle America, and I appreciate that most of his comments are directed for a nominal church goer. It does seem that in the middle America church culture where I live that those regular kids can get easily overlooked. His comments are more about how to make sure youth group is a fun and inviting place for anyone, not just kids who are already into religious learning. Again, I’m not an expert in youth ministry, but it does make sense that you want it to be inviting and fun as well as challenging for kids from all over the spiritual map. (Current buzzword is "missional", right?)Hopefully our kids will be excited to invite their "average" school friends to youth group. I also heartily agree with his call for more men to be involved in youth ministry and that boys should have good teaching on all subjects (not just sex) – high school is about hormones, but also about identity and who you choose to follow, right? At least that’s what I can remember from those years.

Anthony has told me numerous times that guys do not love to sit around and talk about their feelings and prayer requests like women do. So of course there should be other avenues to building male community in youth group – doing silly stuff, building a Habitat house, etc. As a music director, Anthony is also very aware of the need to help men to enjoy singing and he therefore avoids the “Jesus is my boyfriend” love songs that are weird for guys. So again, I don’t think the author is off base to point out how lots of youth group singing can be weird for “average” guys who may or may not believe in Jesus at age 15.

All of that said, I have some major DISAGREEMENTS with the article. Yes, he stereotypes. No, he doesn't give boys enough credit as human beings. But my biggest problem is that he seems to be reducing God to a formula. Of course there are certain ways to consider the audience that should be acted on – however, he seems to leave out the reality that God calls people to Himself no matter the situation. God works in the hearts of people no matter their age, status, nationality, gender, or youth group style and that work of redemption will always be a miracle. I’m also troubled that apparently only guys who come to faith later in life have a great heart understanding of the gospel. Again, I just don’t think God is limited like that. The “good boys and girls” who have never broken the rules are also great sinners in need of a Savior. They have to be saved from thinking their good behavior earns them points with God. Anthony and I pray for Anna and Joshua to follow Jesus with a vibrant faith for all their days – and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later for them.

Although I don’t know much about Trinity’s youth group, I imagine it addresses some of these issues really well, and some not so much. That is the nature of all ministry. As history will attest, the church as a whole isn’t going anywhere, so I’m not at all worried. I’m just giving my own commentary, and opinions are always open to change.

All the Crazy Uncles

I’m not a political activist. I might manage to see the evening news or five minutes of the Today show. So I’m certainly not an expert. What I am is an independent and a voter, which means everyone wants me to fall for them. I’ve voted for Republicans and Democrats in the past. I am “conservative” on some issues and “liberal” on some issues. That makes me a moderate, right?

Tomorrow is the SC Republican primary, and SC is overwhelmingly Republican, so there will be a lot of action. From my brief exposure to the candidates at this point, they all look like someone you’d meet at a family reunion.

Newt Gingrich: He’d be the smartest guy in the family, hands down. Everyone knows he’s the smartest. Problem is, he’s gotten drunk at so many parties and gotten caught doing so many dumb things that no one is sure what he might do next. So even though everyone likes to talk to him, they’re just waiting for him to embarrass the family on YouTube.

Ron Paul: The old guy who is the favorite of all the teenagers because he says the craziest stuff. Family reunions are super boring, but this guy at least makes it interesting. He says stuff that just might be true but everyone just shakes their head at him. He comes off as funny and harmless with a touch of crazy.

Mitt Romney: Mr. Success with the good job and beautiful wife and perfect family. Any yet, no one wants to hang out with him. He does everything he can to get people to like him, but nothing works and he just can’t understand why. (Hint: It might have something to do with how he seems condescending and snippy with those not as successful.) It’s painfully obvious that he’s still an insecure teenager craving approval and he just might throw a tantrum if he doesn’t get it.

Rick Santorum: The best dad ever. He’s good looking, nice, and makes you feel safe. A fine, upstanding member of the family and the community. Sadly, he's also kind of vanilla and blends into the wall. Everyone likes him a lot but no one remembers anything he says. After the reunion is over, no one can remember if he was there.

If you’re reading this, and getting upset at my assessments, just calm down. It’s all in fun. All of these men have served in admirable ways. I might vote for one of these guys in the future. Or I might not. I’m just giving a light hearted opinion about our political process.

ESPN and beyond

I’ve finally decided that I just have to admit that I like sports. I like going to sports events and I like playing them with my kids and yes, I like watching SportsCenter and even some of those other shows on ESPN. Some people will think this is a silly thing to admit, since I am competitive at most everything. Also, I was a middling softball player in high school. It’s true that I’ve never been the girl who thought you scored touchdowns in baseball, but I’ve also never really followed current sports news closely either. However, since the kids have been born, I’ve watched a lot more sports. The Food Network and ESPN have been deemed “safe” grown up channels for the kiddos. The news is not safe. Random sitcom re-runs are not safe. So I’m now ready to admit that I actually like it!

In the past few years we’ve been to more “big market” events… a Red Sox game at Fenway, a Cubs game at Wrigley, the Carolina game at the DeanDome a few weeks ago. These have made me realize that it is perfectly normal for people of all walks of life to love a particular team and sport. Women wear their team jerseys with pride! I’ve never really lived in a big market area where a community rallied around one team, and I think that really is a bigger deal than I realized. Boston lives and breathes the Red Sox. The Chapel Hill area loves UNC. Even the Cubs (who are terrible) have a great fan base. Asheville just doesn’t have a particular big deal team. I think I’m sad about that – minor league stuff just isn’t the same, and I’d really enjoy pulling for a team along with my friends. I know, we’re the community that rallies around eating organic and fair trade and being green, which is really great. I just wish we also lived closer to a sports team that all the community also loved.

But I’ll take watching exciting TV (NFL playoffs!) and teaching the kids the small amount I know about how to play. And I won’t hide that I can talk somewhat knowledgably about various teams. We’ll keep going to various ball games – mostly kid stuff, but hopefully other games, too. Maybe I’ll have a fantasy football team one day, even though I don’t understand it!

7 days later...

Christmas pictures! We opened presents on Christmas morning at the Everette's in SC. Yes, we believe in Santa Claus, though I'm not sure how long it will last. Anna asks too many hard questions, and I'm not so great at avoiding them, and we don't want to directly lie. So we talk a lot about St. Nicholas and how he gave presents because he knew God loved him.

But I do love the magic of Christmas morning, just like I love Christmas movies (Elf! A Christmas Carol! It's a Wonderful Life!)

The (used) iPod touch with educational apps was a big hit! Thanks, Beth Morgan!

Anna got 2 "American Girl" dolls. (Not really - they're from Target, but don't tell her!) However, mostly what she wanted was to hold new baby cousin Mary Eleanor. Seriously - she did not let go of the child. It was often a fight between Anna and Grandma over who got to hold the baby.

These boys were hilarious cousins who became "best friends". They bonded over SpiderMan and other various superheroes. Joshua still loves all things related to any kind of ball. Football has been the newest, as it is on TV the most. (But that will change with the onset of college basketball!!)

He broke 4 whiffle balls over 3 days. No kidding - cracked them right open! Crazy bat speed!